A Perfect Life

“Life is a process not an event”.

The exercise is simple.  Get a spiral bound notebook and put it on your nightstand.  From the time you wake up in the morning write down everything that is annoying or painful in your life.  It doesn’t matter how large or small the change is.  After looking in a refrigerator 1000 times that needs the light bulb replaced it gets aggravating to open the damn refrigerator, etc……

My first annoyance when I started taking this seriously was the alarm clock, or clock radio with some jerk trying to sell me something as I was coming into awareness.  I bought an alarm CD player and started waking up to ocean waves or other nature sounds.  It was a little thing, but it made a great improvement.  My second change at the time was was my morning coffee.  I set the timer for 15 minutes before I woke up, so my first two greetings to the new day were gentle waves and the smell of great coffee.

Your list will be different than mine, of course.  Over the course of a few days you will have a few pages of simple things to fix and cross off your list.  The simple action of crossing one thing off empowers you in a way that adds to the perfection.  It doesn’t have to be interpersonal relationships or a terrible job or boss.  Something as simple as changing the oil in your car can help.  It’s great if you can change problems with relationships or jobs, but it’s possible to start changing simple things on day one. Once you start it’s impossible not to make your life better.

Through the years I have continued with my  list of a perfect day until it is now habit.  When something annoys me I make it a point not to ignore it.  I fix it as soon as I can.  This is not a bucket list of things to do before I die, but a fix-it-today list.

Another change was shared by Andrew Weil MD in his “Spontaneous Healing” book.  Don’t dwell on the news.  I haven’t watched regular or cable TV for many years and I still get way too much bad news when I log onto my email.  Trust me you won’t miss anything.  Spend that hour with your family.  I am usually sitting around the fire pit on my deck or in my solar hot tub with a glass of red wine during that time having what my wife and I call “days end”. If you live to be 80 years old you will have 29,200 “days ends”.  How many of those evenings do you want to waste worrying about things you can’t change? I flash back to mornings spent at my ex father-in-law’s house waking up to him  angry and swearing at the news caster on his television.  Evening news was worse.  That can’t be good for you.

The next exercise is to turn half way back in your notebook and write a list called “Things I Love to do”.  Then list your favorite things.  When I ask my patients about what they do for fun, which is something I ask nearly all of my patients, they usually respond with hunting, fishing, golf, dancing, walking, camping and many others.  Then I ask them when the last time was that they did any of those things and they can remember a day several months ago. The cure for this is obvious once you look at it.

These changes and  exercises may help you find your perfect day one day at a time.

I hope this helps.